Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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