And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
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