I saw his package. It spoke to me.
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
Randomize
