I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
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