You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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