My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
Randomize
