she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
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