I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
Randomize
