Soap is not a condiment
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
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