PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
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