Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
