I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Randomize
