haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
My bed is full of blood and feathers
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
Randomize
