I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
Also, beer. Big fan.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
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