I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
Can vaginas get frostbite?
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
Randomize
