Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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