Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
