i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
Randomize
