If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
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