There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Randomize
