i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Randomize
