Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Randomize
