I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
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