i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
Randomize
