what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
Randomize
