Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
Randomize
