We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
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