Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
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