who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
Randomize
