the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
Found your dick twin last night
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
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