You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
