I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
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