you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Randomize
