im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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