make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Randomize
