In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
