we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
