so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
