Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
Randomize
