Porn is love you can see.
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
Randomize