My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
