Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
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