I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Randomize
