I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
