This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
Drunk is a universal language darling
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