And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
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