Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
