Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
Randomize
