U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
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