She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
