Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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