hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
you mean i was at the winter classic?
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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